How to survive the holidays at home after living on your own

The holidays can be tough for many, especially if you’re going back home after living alone for a while.

If you’re a student, it’s very likely you’re living in halls of residence or student house. Even if you’re not, you know you’ll have to spend quality time with the family (or whoever you’re spending the holidays with).

While the prospect might be exciting for many, it can also be quite a triggering time. There’s an underlying obligation to spend time with loved ones, but it can be hard to get on with absolutely everyone and the intensity of it all can be a bit much.

Here’s how to keep yourself sane and survive the holidays at home.

Ask yourself why

If you landed on this article, then it’s worth asking why you’re googling the title of this topic.

Are you dreading the visit home?

Are you anxious?

Are you worried about travel costs?

Do you actually need to be home for the holidays? While we encourage spending time with loved ones and surrounding yourself with good people, if the thought of going home out of pure obligation fills you with dread, then why not spend it with people you actually want to be around. Or dare we say it, alone?

“Alone!?â€. Yeah! It can be hard, sure, but according to this BBC article, “Psychologist Dr Arthur Cassidy agrees that introversion for one day of the year needn’t necessarily imply loneliness and social isolationâ€.

Plan ahead and set boundaries

Tell your family what you need to feel safe. Maybe you don’t want them asking why you’re not bringing your partner this year, or you don’t want them prying on any part of your life. Tell them you have assignments and need dedicated time away to work on them. Basically, inform them of anything you need to feel safe.

There’s always the expectation to spend all of your free time during the holidays with your family but if it’s simply too much, then be honest about it.

If revisiting your home brings up unpleasant feelings and memories, ask your friends if you could escape to theirs in an emergency (or plan to spend your holidays with them to begin with).

And if absolutely no one is available or will put you up for the holidays, a hotel is your best bet. Get student travel discounts with Student Beans to slash the cost.

Read: 7 Essentials You Need To Pack For The Christmas Break.

Practice self-care

When things get a bit much, we recommend the following ways to calm down some anxieties that could arise:

Cognitive diffusion

When negative thoughts enter our heads, we can literally “diffuse†them to reframe how we think of ourselves. E.g. “I’m a loser†could be diffused to “I guess I’m the only one thinking I’m a loser†or “I’m so @$%£ing angry†could be “I’m feeling angry at the momentâ€.

Read more about cognitive diffusion here.

Box breathing

Recommended by the NHS, this involves breathing in for 4 seconds, holding for 4 seconds, breathing out for 4 seconds, and holding one last time before repeating for 4 seconds.

This TikTok creator has some amazing tips on navigating holiday stress:

Who can you surround yourself with?

Are there one or two members of the family that are cool to hang with? These guys will keep you sane. Stick with them.

Or, maybe you’re genuinely considering spending it with others. This may upset your family, but this is something your family will need to accept so you can have a relaxed holiday period.

Have a safe place

This could be as simple as your bedroom, a friend’s place or the local park.

If you absolutely have to spend it in your family home, try and find ways to break the routine. Like volunteering at a shelter, going on a long walk, litter picking. Anything that’ll keep you occupied and in a good headspace.

Take control of your own narrative

We know how it goes around the dinner table. Updates are expected about every corner of your life, usually.

If you’re simply not in the mood to talk about whatever topic comes up then take control. Keep things vague, agree to disagree, keep them talking instead. Do whatever you need to keep the attention on others instead of yourself.

Lower your expectations

Expecting the worst yet hoping for the best will really work in your favour here. It shouldn’t be seen as a negative either. If things turn out better than expected then you can look back at the home holiday visit as a success.

Think about what you can and can’t control

We can’t control what people say, do and think. But we can control our attitude towards these things.

Think how you want to think, feel your feelings and treat all situations from a good place for your own wellbeing.

Find joy in small things

Enjoy all the holiday treats, run that bubble bath (because it’s very likely you won’t have one at uni), watch all of your favourite films. Most importantly, give yourself the break you deserve!

Treat yourself

At the end of it all, you deserve a break. Yeah, another one.

Get yourself a bottle of vino, a new experience or a nice takeaway to reward yourself for enduring something quite challenging. You owe it to yourself. It’s the holidays! Save cash on treats with student food and drink discounts too.

Read: The Ultimate List Of Classic Christmas Films & Where You Can Watch Them.

From all of us here at Student Beans, we hope you have the best possible holiday season no matter what or how you spend it.