Your Biggest Relationship Questions Answered

We asked for your biggest relationship questions on our Instagram stories. Here are the answers.

So many questions run through our minds when we date, enter relationships, are a good few years down the line or contemplate the dreaded breakup.

We wanted to find out the top relationship questions to give answers to, and what better way than asking our audience over on our IG page?

We want to give a huge thank you to those who participated. We’ve narrowed down the most common responses and given answers to your biggest relationship questions. With no BS.

Participants have been kept anonymous to respect their privacy.

1. “When is it time to break up?â€

Trying to find the right moment to end things with your SO?

To put it bluntly, there really isn’t a wrong or right time.

If you’re not feeling things anymore, the timing will always seem ‘wrong’, but that can be our way of delaying the inevitable. Perhaps you’re scared of hurting the other person or what they or your mutuals will think.

We also get that you may want to wait until after a birthday or specific occasion has passed, but you need to ask yourself if delaying the breakup will just result in more pain for them. Or more importantly, yourself.

So, our verdict is basically to end it sooner rather than later.

2. “I wanna be a blogger, but my BF doesn’t want me to, what should I do?â€

This sounds like the classic case of a partner not supporting your dreams. How does that make you feel?

A partner should do what they’re meant to do. Be a partner. Yes, it’s normal to express doubts and worries if your SO wants to pursue something you’re not sure of. Have a conversation about what might be bothering them, why they’re not being supportive and anything else they might be feeling.

If they’re outright mocking you or not being supportive about your dreams, then it’s time to ask yourself if you can cope being with someone who doesn’t believe in you.

3. “I told a girl I like her and she likes me, but we’re both shy and she says she needs time to respond properly and I’m a little anxious myself because I really like her. Any advice?â€

Firstly, congratulations on coming clean about how you feel! It’s great to see they reciprocate too.

Are you in love with your best friend? Or are you still at an acquaintance stage? Regardless, admitting you like someone is super tough, especially when there’s the looming fear of rejection.

It’s also normal for the other party to have some time to think. Maybe they’re going through something right now and need to assess whether a relationship is right for them, or other reasons you may not be aware of.

We believe respecting this space will give you both time to think, but it does get to a point where things are taking too long. Has it been a few days? A week? A month?

It may be worth getting clarity so you know where you stand. The last thing you want is to be left in the dark or worse, strung along.

4. “Any tips on buying for boys? I’m so bad at getting gifts for my boyfriendâ€

Buying gifts for partners can be pretty tough! Especially if you think they have everything they need already or are particularly picky.

Obviously, we don’t know you, your boyfriend, or your relationship. But we do know some excellent starting points for boyfriend gift inspo:

• Have they been obsessing over a new hobby, show, trip, or the like?

• Are they an ‘experiences’ kind pf person (think dinners, days out or holidays)?

• Have they mentioned wishing they had something in the past? Like a new video game, limited edition Blu-Ray or something along those lines?

• What does your boyfriend need that they don’t have or could do with replacing? Think wallets, trainers, and other small yet thoughtful items

• Are they eco-friendly or super conscious about the environment? Get them something that supports their passion.

5. “What does it mean when they say they don’t want a relationship but they fancy you?â€

To put things bluntly, it means exactly what you asked.

It’s possible to fancy someone but not want a relationship. While this can feel frustrating for you, it actually helps. It lets you know where you stand.

We get how tough this can feel, as feelings aren’t being totally reciprocated here. It’s important to put yourself first and not focus on trying to change their mind. This could (and most likely will) end in emotional exhaustion, embarrassment, and further rejection.

Instead, focus on yourself and who knows, maybe time will pass and they could change their minds themselves.

6. “Is it normal not to go on dates? I’m worried it’ becoming more FWB (friends with benefits) rather than boyfriend/girlfriendâ€

We’re assuming you’re in a long-term relationship already. It’s actually normal to become content and notice date nights become less and less frequent. But we can’t help but feel you may be missing said date nights and want to reignite the spark a little.

If that’s the case, definitely have a conversation with your partner and express that you want to have more date nights together. Agree on a time scale (once a week, once a fortnight, etc) and plan them together.

However, if you aren’t in a long-term relationship with this person and notice the date nights declining, then it’s still worth bringing up the conversation. You’ll get clarity on the status of your relationship and whether you want to ramp up the dates or settle with how things are…but we can’t imagine you’d be happy with the latter.

7. “Why do I overthink so much about my relationship when there is nothing to worry about?â€

We all overthink from time to time. Especially when we’re in periods of stress or have unresolved issues or traumas. Perhaps you have a pre-existing mental health condition like GAD, depression, or the like that can increase negative thought patterns. It can also be a result of anxious attachment, which stems from early child-parent relationships and could leave you with low self-esteem as an adult.

When we’re in a state of overthinking, we imagine scenarios that may not have happened and they can spiral out of control. Here are some tips to reduce the amount of overthinking:

• Are there unresolved issues or questions in your relationship?

• Do you feel you could benefit from therapy?

• Have you always been an overthinking person?

• Do you overthink in relationships?

• Is your partner making you feel insecure?

We may think there’s nothing to worry about, but this could be a result of gaslighting from your partner or yourself. Regardless of which scenario you’re in, if it’s affecting your daily life, it’s worth addressing and seeking support from loved ones and a professional.

8. “I’ve unexpectedly started dating someone but have since realised I’m not ready to date. What should I do?â€

Firstly, don’t panic. Sometimes we can be sure of something then change our minds. It’s human nature and nothing to be ashamed of.

We absolutely recommend having a sit down with yourself and asking the following:

• What’s making me want to escape this relationship?

• Is it because I’m not ready or am I simply scared of getting hurt?

• Do I feel like things are going too well and something bad is going to happen?

• Have I caught the ick and can’t move past it?

Avoidant types are prone to this. You may be feeling things that aren’t familiar and have a strong sense to dive out asap.

If you genuinely don’t feel like your partner is the right person for you though, then we recommend ending things sooner rather than later to avoid even more pain.

9. “How long should I wait to ask him what we are? It’s been just over 2 monthsâ€

There’s no right or wrong time to ask (okay, maybe not after the first couple of dates when you barely know each other). But given it’s been two months, you have every right to know where you stand.

It may be they already feel like you’re a couple and haven’t felt the need to address it. It’s often the case. But it’s not great for people such as yourself that need clarity.

Be blunt and ask the question. Tip-toeing around it will simply make things more awkward. It’s normal to feel worried about the answer they’ll give and some anxieties may come up here. But ultimately, you deserve to know the status of the relationship and act accordingly to how you want to proceed.

If they say you’re together, great! If they give a vague answer or say they prefer things ‘as they are’ then you need to have a think about whether this is good enough for you. As we said, there’s no point in trying to change someone’s mind as it can result in more hurt.

10. “Why won’t he give me a second chance? I regret ending it…â€

Yikes. We’ve all been there. It can feel awful regretting a decision to break up with someone, especially if you realise they were right for you all along.

How long has it been since you ended the relationship? There can be a period of time when you’re feeling remorseful and unstable not long after the breakup. This can result in us wanting to get back to the person soon after. But if it’s been an ample amount of time, then it’s likely you want them back for real.

The problem here is that they’re not giving you that second chance.

And they have no obligation to. Ultimately, we can’t change people’s minds. But it could be worth offering to have a conversation with them and discuss your feelings together. They may be hurting still or hesitant to have their trust broken again. And if that’s the case then you’ll simply have to respect their feelings.

Maybe they just need time, or maybe it’s clear they simply won’t budge. In both cases, we recommend diverting the attention away from them and back onto yourself. You’ll need the time to heal too.

11. “Is it normal for couples to not *like* Valentine’s Day? Neither of us doâ€

Who says every couple needs to like Valentine’s Day? Every relationship is unique and shouldn’t have to follow the status quo. If anything, you can bond on how much you don’t like it and treat it like any other day.

It’s normal to have likes and dislikes, both individually and as a couple. So yes, it’s 100% normal!

12. “Is it wrong to flirt with multiple men…when you’ve previously been in a relationship for 11 years?â€

We can only assume by the word ‘previously’ that you’re single. If that’s the case, then there’s absolutely nothing wrong with doing that. It’s totally normal to flirt with multiple people when you’re single.

Assuming you’re not in too deep and everyone knows they aren’t in a relationship with you, then you’re within your right to divert your attention however you please.

We totally get how 11 years is a really long time and may feel weird, but if anything, this is a fantastic opportunity to get to know multiple personalities and the kind of traits you gravitate towards.

13. “I’m thinking of other guys in *that* way…red flag?â€

This is perfectly normal. Having fantasies is a part of human nature. It’s fine to find someone else attractive, as long as no action is taken and things don’t go beyond a fantasy.

But there’s a line.

If the thoughts become obsessive and you feel the relationship deteriorating in some way, then you may need to address a much deeper issue. Perhaps you’re losing attraction to your current partner, maybe you don’t trust them yourself or you simply don’t feel that connection.

If that’s the case, then it may be a sign to end the relationship or have a serious conversation.

14. “Am I content or am I bored?â€

Every relationship has its ups and downs. After the honeymoon phase, things settle and this may scare some couples.

The intense emotions, lavish dates and lots of…alone time, may become infrequent. This is totally normal and shows the ebb and flow of a natural relationship. As long as the love and appreciation is there, there’s nothing to worry about.

When we feel bored, thoughts turn negative towards the relationship. Here are signs you’re bored of your partner:

• You don’t feel interested in your partner, attracted to them nor appreciate them

• You don’t bat an eyelid at them

• You feel weird about a future with them

• You want to get away from them

• You have a desire to ‘change’ things about them or who you’re with

• You don’t enjoy your time together

• You’re easily irritated by them, even if they’re doing nothing wrong.

Are there more questions you haven’t quite got the answers to? We spoke to journalist Olivia Petter who answers even more of the most-asked relationship questions:

We hope we’ve answered your burning relationship questions. Feel free to let us know if you have any more you want answers to!