The Perfect Snacks To Eat While Listening To “The Tortured Poets Department: The Anthology”
Grab your snacks and get ready to cry.
Since its release, The Tortured Poets Department has gotten loads of media coverage. The broody album is not the bouncy summer vibes given to us in 1989 or Lover, but more of if like folklore and Midnights hooked up while Reputation was in the corner.
And while the album is equally devastating, haunting, and beautiful, there’s never been a better time to listen to the album, whether it’s for the first time or the hundredth. That’s why we’ve rounded up a snack or drink to go with every song—and yes, that means the entire double album.
The Tortured Poets Department
“Fortnight”
We’ll start the album off with a nice cup of coffee, because you’re going to need it listening to the entire album, and it keeps with the moody, black and white theme of the music video.
“The Tortured Poets Department”
Seven bars of chocolate. I think this one explains itself.
“My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys”
If you can still find them, a Wonderball would be the perfect fit. Breaking open the chocolate shell for tart candy on the inside? Yeah, that tracks for this song.
“Down Bad”
A pint of ice cream, because nothing soothes you better when you’re down bad than ice cream.
“So Long, London”
A strong cup of Earl Gray tea, arguably the most quintessentially British drink there is.
“But Daddy, I Love Him”
Sour Patch Kids, because, “I’m having his baby. No, I’m not, but you should see your faces.”
“Fresh Out The Slammer”
Honestly, whatever food you’d be craving most after spending time in prison. We’ll leave that choice up to you.
“Florida!!!”
Orange juice, because FLORIDA!!!
“Guilty As Sin?”
Bittersweet chocolate. The contrasting flavors are exactly the feelings reminiscent of this hauntingly tragic song.
“Who’s Afraid Of Little Old Me?”
Mexican hot chocolate, since this track has some fire behind the lyrics.
“I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)”
A cake covered in a lot of frosting. We’ve all eaten that cake that really isn’t that great, but the frosting tries to fix it (no really, it can). Pretty spot on.
“loml”
A warm bowl of chicken noodle soup because we feel physically ill after hearing this song.
“I Can Do It With A Broken Heart”
Birthday cake, because when you’re so depressed you act like it’s your birthday everyday, that’s the only suitable snack.
“The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived”
Nerds, because they’re a teeny tiny candy, but stick pack a major punch.
“The Alchemy”
White wine since, according to the lyrics, “These chemicals hit me like white wine.”
“Clara Bow”
A croissant. Flaky and sweet, but elegant all at the same time.
The Anthology
“The Black Dog”
A strong pint, in honor of the real pub in London the song is based on.
“imgonnagetyouback”
A strong shot of an alcohol of your choice, to give you a little liquid courage before you get them back.
“The Albatross”
Whiskey neat, since “only liquor anoints you.”
“Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus”
A smoothie that’s just a little bit overpriced. Can’t you see someone you know, likely named Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus, walking around drinking one of these?
“How Did It End?”
An Old Fashioned (Ms. Swift’s drink of choice, herself), in honor to pour one out for her and her loss experienced during this entire album.
“So High School”
A milkshake and fries, to remind you of all the late nights you spent out with friends after football games.
“I Hate It Here”
Chocolate chip cookies, since on days when you don’t want to leave the house, you want something extra comforting to make you feel better.
“thanK you aIMee”
A salad. You know why.
“I Look In People’s Windows”
Mulled wine, to comfort you on the cold nights and Christmases mentioned in this song.
“The Prophecy”
Hot cocoa, because it’s the most comforting drink, and you’re going to need that after listening to this devastating song.
“Cassandra”
A golden milk latte. A seemingly sweet and innocent but with a secret fiery side to it that can knock you out.
“Peter”
Since this song alludes to Peter Pan, we’re going to take some inspiration from the movie and book, which is why you should get some roasted sweet rolls.
“The Bolter”
Champagne, since a nice bottle of it matches the luxury and sophisticated vibes of “The Bolter.”
“Robin”
A hot cup of herbal tea, matching the conflicting sweetness and hurt in the song. Way to go, tiger.
“The Manuscript”
Lucky Charms, obviously. “Afterwards she only ate kids’ cereal and couldn’t sleep unless it was in her mother’s bed.” And Lucky Charms is the best kid’s cereal!
