How To Overcome Loneliness At University
If you’re feeling lonely at uni, you’re definitely not alone.
Loneliness at university is way more common that you realise.
If you’re feeling lonely at university, you most likely aren’t the only one (even if it feels like you are!). In fact, according to our Freshers Report, 64.4% of students are anxious about making new friends — and that’s a normal part of the uni journey, it’s okay to feel like that.
It might worry you, especially as a lot of us were told that university would be the ‘best time of our life’ and a place where you’ll find lasting friendships. For some of us though, the uni experience might seem more isolating, especially when you’re a Fresher.
University is an adjustment. A new place, new people to live with, more independence — it’s a far cry from the comfort of mum and dad’s for some of us. But feeling lonely some of the time is almost inevitable, and you can learn to be more comfortable spending time by yourself too.
We’ve got some advice on how to overcome the feeling of loneliness at university and how to enjoy your own company with solo activities (because sometimes you are the best company).
Jump to:
- Student loneliness at university
- How to stop feeling lonely
- How to overcome loneliness without friends
- Solo activities for when you’re lonely
- Where to get help on how to overcome loneliness
Student loneliness at university
When we say you’re not the only one feeling lonely at university, we mean it. You’re not alone in feeling lonely (let us be cliché).
Towards the end of 2023, the government released research that revealed that loneliness was experienced by 92% of students, with 43% worried they would be judged if they admitted they were lonely.
There’s no shame in feeling lonely, especially at university — it’s a big change. Here are some of the warning signs that indicate you’re feeling lonely:
- You constantly feel tired
- You don’t want to go outside
- On the contrary, you want to but can’t bring yourself to
- You’re buying more things than usual
- You’re consuming more media and shows than normal
- You’re spending a lot of time on your phone or social media
- You feel unwell all the time
- The thought of going to a social event fills you with dread
- Uni stress is a lot more intense to the point you’ve isolated yourself
- You have a strong urge to ‘hide’ under your blanket.
At university, you may often feel or think the following too:
- “I don’t have any close friends”
- “I don’t have anything in common with my housemates/coursemates”
- “I don’t get on with my housemates/coursemates”
- “I don’t feel like I can join any activities because of money/the people”
- “I don’t have anyone to confide in”
- “No one seems to get me”
- “I just want to stay in my room”
All of these things can contribute to a negative university experience, and possibly contribute to academic burnout.
Your loneliness might also be feelings of homesickness, but remember that you’re only a phone call away from your loved ones at home.
How to stop feeling lonely
Humans are naturally inclined to be social. We need some form of connection with others to thrive. Even if it’s behind a screen.
When we don’t have at least one healthy bond with others, we can begin to suffer from bad mental health, which can manifest into physical symptoms too.
Loneliness at university can lead to anxieties coming on quicker than normal. Especially when presented with a social situation quite suddenly. It’s important to reframe how we see loneliness and tackle it.
If you’re wondering how to stop feeling lonely, the following may help eliminate some of that feeling.
1. Practice affirmations for loneliness
One of the best ways to tackle feelings of loneliness is through affirmations. Believing in and practising affirmations for loneliness can feel weird, but it can genuinely help. After all, the more we tell ourselves something, the more we believe it to be true in good times.
2. Practice caring for yourself
Loneliness can result in depression and anxiety. These things in turn can make us feel out of whack and we may neglect to care for ourselves.
Coping with loneliness involves healing from within, too. Stay hydrated, make full meals, get outside for fresh air and try to keep the area around you clean of clutter. It will work wonders for your mind and body.
We’ve got some cheap and easy uni student meals and recipes for one, so you don’t have to eat stale crackers for dinner…
3. Go to your lectures and classes
Skipping university is very tempting. Maybe you don’t want to be seen as ‘lonely’ or you feel like you’re just not up for it.
Remember why you signed up for university in the first place. It’ll help you achieve your long-term goals and even form connections later down the line when you feel able to. Plus, you’ll need to keep good attendance at university too, otherwise, you could get a cause-for-concern letter.
4. Join a class, society or club online
Going to a society alone in person is very daunting. Why not pluck up the courage to do it online instead? That way you can banish the fears of joining an activity ‘late’. Plus, if you find you’re not into it, you can excuse yourself far easier than you can in person.
You’re not the only one worried about making new friends at uni, so you might meet like-minded people in these societies who are equally as worried.
5. Get out of your bedroom
It’s very easy to potter about in our bedrooms. This won’t help you get out of the loneliness rut. Plus, we’re more susceptible to getting in our own heads when we’re physically shut off and alone in one room.
Venture out even if it’s for five minutes around the corner to a local shop. Do these things in small increments to increase your time outdoors. We promise it’ll help you feel less lonely.
6. Get a part-time job
Part-time jobs not only help with supplementary income, but they can give us opportunities to meet new people too.
In turn, this will help you feel less isolated and have something to look forward to. Have a read about online jobs for students we recommend. Some of these involve actually collaborating with people and could even get you a step forward in the industry you want to work in.
7. Nurture your friendships
Reconnect with friends or nurture the relationships you do have. If you’ve tried your best to make new connections with your housemates or coursemates and things just aren’t working out, then this is your best bet. Your current loved ones will always have your back!
8. Take a break from studying
Ask for an extended deadline, take a gap year, and switch off during your semester breaks…Do what you have to do to get yourself to a better place.
Learn how to deal with exam stress, too, so it doesn’t add to your mental health.
9. If the loneliness doesn’t pass, reach out
If loneliness is really getting to you then it’s time to talk it out. Speak to your university counsellor or to an IAPT service, which is a free mental health service by the NHS. It’s important to talk through what you’re feeling to get to the root of the loneliness and empower yourself to solve it.
How to overcome loneliness without friends
Feeling lonely at uni can sometimes be from a lack of friendships at university. Sometimes, we can stop ourselves from making connections out of fear for many reasons, or we simply don’t feel a connection to those around us.
It’s common that people who identify as introverted (*raises hand*) can struggle a little more than our extroverted pals to make friends, but it’s totally possible to make friends as an introvert, some of which involve leaning into what introverts do best: listening!
But if you’re struggling to make friends at uni, then feel rest assured that you’re not alone. Here’s what to do if you have no friends at university and want to make friends:
1. Find out what’s stopping you from making friends
Sometimes we hold ourselves back without realising. Are you scared of being rejected? Do you feel like you’re losing friends? Do you feel too much time has passed?
Rejection is normal, and while it can be uncomfortable, it simply shows they weren’t the right person for you to be friends with. It’s not too late to re-establish connections and make new ones, even if they’re people in your halls you meet back in Fresher’s Week.
Recall a memory of theirs and invite them to an area of interest you both shared, or throw a dinner party at your dorm to get an atmosphere going.
2. Think back to how you made friends in the past
How did you meet your current friends (new and old)? You may have been doing an activity of interest, a sport or at a social. Show up to more of these places to increase your chances of making new friends.
3. Invite housemates to eat together
If you feel like you have no friends at university, then just remember that food connects everyone! Plus, it gives you an opportunity to get closer to your housemates if you haven’t talked to them as much. In fact, generally hanging out in common spaces like the kitchen or living room makes it more likely for you to spark up new friendships. This especially helps when you feel like you’re losing friends and want to reconnect
4. Speak to your classmates
Your classmates are going to have similar interests to you because you’re on the same course! They’re a great place to start to make new friends.
If you’re working on group projects together, sit beside them and get to know each other. You could even schedule some form of outing after university like a bar, food, or activity that involves your area of study.
5. Join a club or society
We mentioned thinking about how you made friends in the past via interests, and clubs or university societies are a great place to make friends! That’s because you’re all there for a common reason, to do the thing you all like or are curious about.
There are societies for almost anything these days. Don’t be afraid to go too niche!
6. Volunteer
Giving back always feels good and does good. Your Student Union’s website will typically have volunteering opportunities you can apply for, and you guessed it, they’re a great place to meet new people.
You could even ask a friend to join you, and if they don’t, it’s no big deal, because you’ll absolutely meet new people while you volunteer. Go in with an open mind!
Solo activities for when you’re lonely
You absolutely do not have to be surrounded by people to have fun. There are plenty of ways you can enjoy your own company, and it’s a step towards overcoming loneliness.
A huge factor in overcoming feelings of loneliness is to be your own friend and enjoy your own space. We’ve got a selection of solo activities that can help when you’re feeling lonely at university.
- Go for a walk or check out a garden centre: nature, plants and being outside can work wonders on our mental health
- Go to the cinema: you’re not going to talk to your friends during the film anyway, so if there’s a film you want to see, go on your own! So many people do it nowadays, it’s no different to watching Netflix in your bed alone.
- Bake: whether you’re an avid baker or can just about read a recipe, baking is a great pastime for when you’re feeling lonely (plus there’s no one to share the baked goods with afterwards, bonus!)
- Go to the gym: exercise releases so many endorphins so if you can, hit the gym and get your sweat on! Check out these cheap gym memberships in the UK.
- Work in a public space: if you’ve got tons of uni work to do, try and work on it in a public space like a library or a coffee shop. Being surrounded by people can help you feel less lonely, and you’ll get work done too, without the distracting conversations of being around people you know
- Walk around charity shops/thrift stores: charity shops are goldmines for bargains, especially great when you’re a student. They’re also always packed with interesting things and treasures, so if you’re feeling lonely, take yourself for a wander around the shops. Local to Liverpool? Check out our guide to charity and vintage shops in Liverpool.
Where to get help on how to overcome loneliness
If you find your feelings of loneliness more difficult to handle, to the point where it’s affecting your daily life, then it’s absolutely worth seeking professional help. Some of the symptoms may manifest in the form of absence from university, panic attacks, depression and anxiety.
Looking after your mental health during your studies especially is important to increasing your quality of life and mental well-being. Here’s where you can get help for feelings of loneliness who can help with how to not feel alone.
Charities
There are many charities out there that offer advice on how to deal with loneliness in the form of student resources, articles, volunteer and paid counsellors. Here are just a handful of charities that help deal with feelings of loneliness:
University counsellor
The majority of universities will have a dedicated student counsellor to counsel students of all years. They offer a listening ear, the space to talk and the tools to help deal with feelings of loneliness, university depression, university anxiety and even advice on suspending studies due to depression. It’s a free service too, so it’s worth making use of this during your studies.
Going to your GP
Your GP will be able to advise you on the right form of treatment, such as referring you to mental health service (though this can be done without going to a GP via Self Help). If your condition has been long-term and loneliness has become a factor contributing to poor mental health, then they may be able to advise on medication and strategies to improve your mental well-being.
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