In Love With Your Best Friend? How To Know & What To Do About It

There’s a way to tell your best friend you love them more than a friend. Here’s how.

Are you feeling all warm and fuzzy when you’re around your best friend? Does it feel like you’re on cloud nine and you can’t figure it out?

Falling for a best friend is surprisingly common. After all, you have tons in common to begin with, which often forms the foundation of most romantic relationships.

If you want to know if you’re really in love with your best friend, how to deal with your feelings and confess your love properly, then read on to get the answers to your burning questions.

Are you really in love?

It can be hard to differentiate between a crush and being in love with someone. The signs often overlap, but we know that a crush can be fleeting. Here are a few signs to look out for if you’re in love with your best friend.

Signs you’re in love

Thinking they’re extra special

When you’re in love, you begin thinking your interest is one of a kind. You may even feel like others just don’t give you the same feeling.

They’re always on your mind

An obvious one, but you simply can’t stop thinking about them. They may take over most of your thoughts throughout the day. You may fantasize about a future together, holidays you’d go on, places you want to eat out at…the lot.

You focus on the positives

You’ll focus on all the good things about that person. How they look, how they make you feel, all the good stuff. You may feel more optimistic than normal too and find your usual day-to-day activities slip a little bit.

You forget your ex even existed

While you’re enthralled with your new interest, even if they’re your best friend, you may be forgetting to do your daily social stalk of your ex (which we highly discourage, by the way). The point is, you’re focused on someone else now and want to create new memories with them.

Your interests align

We naturally feel close to people who share our interests, so it’s only normal your best friend may fit the bill. They not only share our hobbies and the music we like to listen to but maybe life goals too. Like a job you want to achieve, places you want to travel to, where you’d like to settle, and so on.

You crave intimacy with them

And we don’t necessarily mean the deed. Craving cuddles, kissing and being held by them will often enter our minds when we’re in love. It may fill you with all the warm fuzzy feelings and a sense of security when you imagine that feeling.

This may feel a bit weird, especially when it’s your best friend you’re in love with, but in time you give in and can’t think of anything else.

The difference and similarities between friend love and romantic love

Friendship and love share one thing in common: intimacy. And not in the way you think.

You want that emotional closeness in both kinds of relationships, but they’re presented differently. Platonic friendships have less physical contact and no ‘attraction’, whereas you’ll find this grows into romantic love if you want to go beyond this.

Am I in love with my best friend?

So you know you’re in love, but are you in love with your best friend? Let’s talk about the signs to look out for if you are. You’ll find they’re not too dissimilar to being in love with anyone else.

You get jealous quickly

Do you get jealous when they look at someone else on a night out or they talk about their dating life? That jealousy usually means you feel a lot more than you’re letting on.

You’re sexually attracted to them

It may be confusing at first, but you’ll find yourself thinking of thoughts you hadn’t thought of before. This is when you know you may be falling for your friend and these thoughts may start to become more frequent.

You don’t stop talking about them

Do you find yourself relating a situation back to your best friend, or talking about plans with them a lot? It may be a sign they’re on your mind a lot more than you think. People may even start connecting dots that aren’t there, yet!

If it confuses you, we’d say give this time. But it may be the case you’re in love with them after all.

You try to look your best around them

We naturally want to look our best when we’re around someone we like. Yes, even our best friend.

It’s likely they’ve seen you in all sorts of situations, but recently, you’ve been spraying more aftershave or switching your outfits up.

People ask if you’re dating, or if you’ve dated in the past

You’ll naturally be more affectionate to your best friend if you see them as more than. It may spark up a few questions from those around you.

They may ask if you’re dating or dated in the past. That’s when it might be a sign to look at how you are around them and if you want to take the plunge into expressing how you really feel. Or maybe it confuses you, but it’s planted a seed no less.

Their compliments feel extra special

Who doesn’t love a compliment? We feel all fuzzy, maybe even embarrassed, if they come from someone you’re in love with. It may even catch you off guard too since they’re your best friend. Especially if they’ve noticed the extra effort you’ve put in lately.

You dream about them a lot

If they’re on your mind then they’re definitely in your dreams. If they’re starring in cameos in your slumber, especially in romantic ways, then it’s a clear sign you see them as more than your best friend.

You go out of your way for them

Do you do out of your way for favours more often? Maybe you’re willing to listen to their 3 am drunken conversations or show up more than you normally would. This may be a time to ask why. Do you want to be around them more? Are you in love with your best friend?

Is my best friend in love with me?

If you’re wondering if your best friend is in love with you too, then we’ve got a few signs to look out for that may point to yes.

They compliment you more

Have you noticed they’re complimenting you more than they normally would? They could just be feeling extra nice or having a good time, but if they’re noticing the small details then it could be a sign for something more.

There’s tension

Are they staring at you more often and it’s making you think all the things? Do they divert their attention quickly when you catch their gaze? All of these things build tension and it may be that they’re noticing you a lot more than usual for a reason.

You do couple-y things together

Are you going on dates, trips, and staying over? Those are usually things best friends do, yes. But if it’s becoming frequent and other factors and signs are coming into play then this could mean more than you think. Plus, if the thought of being around them and doing these things together more excites you, then naturally the vibes are gonna get picked up.

They want more alone time with you

You’ll probably spend lots of time together as best friends anyway. But have they made it a point to do more things just the two of you lately?

Maybe you guys get out of bigger social events to do something more chill or you find yourselves together at parties. If these things make you question if they’re in love with you, it could be the case.

Other people have noticed it

People talk. Maybe your mutuals have noticed more tagging on IG, that you’re both always together or clearly have electric chemistry. They may ask both of you if you’re together.

Again, seeds are being planted. So even if they’re not in love with you now, they could be in the near future.

They’re more affectionate

Are they holding hugs that extra bit longer? Sending you UwUs and cute emojis when they usually don’t? These could be signs they’re trying to get closer to you.

They haven’t dated in a while

Unless there’s something going on in their life, maybe you’ve noticed they’re not dating.

It can be harder to confess love for a friend for many reasons and it could be the reason they’ve been single for a while. Maybe they tried dating but were distracted by the thoughts of how much they already love you.

You sense jealousy when you talk about your dating life

Are their answers short when you talk about a recent date? Or do they just generally act weird when you bring up someone else? They may be finding it difficult to know you’re dating or crushing over someone. It’s usually a clear sign there’s something going on in their mind, and it could be a time to open the floor for a real discussion about it.

You just notice little things

Sometimes we just feel or notice things. Was there a moment they could have kissed you? Maybe they sent a TikTok about funny things couples do, or you simply feel a shift in the air. It’s hard to explain, but sometimes we just know.

What to do if you’re in love with your best friend

So you’ve acknowledged you love your best friend and you think they may love you back. To be sure, it’s worth opening up the discussion at the right time. Here’s how we’d go about telling your best friend you love them.

Acknowledge Your Feelings

It can be tempting to ignore your feelings and carry on like everything’s fine. But in time, this can wear you down. By acknowledging your feelings you can have an honest conversation with yourself about what’s best for you.

Consider their relationship situation

If you’re best friends then you’ll know their situation. Are they in a relationship already? Read the room and put yourself in their shoes. If they’re single, but going through a tough time, then it’s still worth knowing your place before having the conversation.

Check if the feelings are real

Best friends have a strong bond compared to casual relationships and acquaintances. What we’re trying to say, is be absolutely sure you’re attracted to them. It could be a fleeting crush, so just check in with yourself first.

Don’t feel guilty

You’re allowed to feel what you feel, but we get that it can harbour feelings of guilt sometimes. Perhaps you’re worried about things changing. But you should never feel guilty about feeling very normal feelings.

Have the chat privately

Definitely take them to one side or suggest going out just the two of you to have the conversation. It can be tempting to confess at a gathering, but if you must have some support then tell a close friend about what you’re going through so they can provide some emotional support.

Tell them in the way they’d like to be told

As their best friend, you’ll have a good idea of their likes and dislikes. When you decide to confess how you feel, do it in the way they’d like. How have they been confessed to before? Are they quite blunt and would prefer things straight up? Only you know how to do this best.

What happens next?

If they only see you as a friend

It is absolutely worth setting boundaries here so you can deal with the unrequited love you’re feeling at the moment. Maybe you ask for some space or ask them to not be as flirtatious as you guys have been. You may be greeted with defensiveness, which really, could indicate they may not have been the right person for you to begin with.

They reciprocate

Sometimes this can be hard to read a person when you tell them you like them. Obviously, they can come right out and say they do too. But this could take time for some people to come round to.

If it’s clear feelings from both sides are on the same level then this is fantastic! You guys can go with the flow, or talk about how you want to proceed together. Although they’re your best friend, transitioning to a romantic relationship can be a totally different game. Here are some green flags to look for in your first date.

They don’t say anything.

They may be totally shocked, shy or the worst part; they may not know how to let you down easily. It can be very frustrating and anxiety-inducing if they don’t say anything. Simply ask if they need some time to think and reach out when you feel the time is right (not straight away, though).

Give things time

If you’ve told your best friend you love them and they don’t like you back, you’ll need to give things time. It’s still possible to salvage a friendship, especially if they have good character. Just remember to give them and yourself the time to heal from it all.

To sum up

We get it can be confusing and exciting all at once when you realise you’re in love with your best friend. This could be the start of a blossoming relationship or a time when you realise you’re better off as friends.

It’s better to get things out in the open for your own clarity and we hope these tips can help you get there.