Pole dancing prostitutes destroying street signs
New Zealand's streets have been hit by a new menace. Pole dancers. And they're destroying everything in their path...
If you were to walk around the seedier parts of South Auckland in New Zealand you’d apparently have to zig-zag down the pavement in order to avoid their newly bent street signs.
In the last 18 months 40 poles have been bent, buckled and broken and for a while authorities were stumped. That is until they noticed that (as a local politician put it) "some of the prostitutes are big, strong people." Yes, New Zealand’s tough prostitutes have taken to heaving themselves up, down and all around the poles in a bid to attract the attention of potential clients.
This of course has annoyed ‘urban pole dancers’ the world over who believe that the damage might be due to the rising popularity of the ‘sport’. The founder of the very seriously named US Pole Dancing Federation said when interviewed (I can only assume whilst hanging down from a greased pole like a bat wearing Spandex) “"What exactly do they make their signs out of anyway in New Zealand? Tissue paper?"
I don’t think it occurred to the council to test their street signs in event of dance attack. Maybe next time you nip down to New Zealand avoid the streets. It seems they’re full of determined gangs of pole dancers and/or acrobatic, robust prostitutes. Terrifying.