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26 Toys You Definitely Shouldn't Buy Your Children

Pole dancing, russian roulette and an excited Buzz Lightyear. Here are some toys that children should never play with.

We at studentbeans.com are much too young, vibrant and full of hope to have kids. No, it'll be a good few years before we consider settling down with some little terrors of our own. Even so, there are some things we already know about parenthood. One of them is that you have responsibilities. Specifically you have a responsibility to not buy them any of these toys.

Not even if it's funny. Not even then:

enter image description hereNew SIXFINGER shoots a fragmentation bomb. Make sure you use protection.
enter image description hereHis name is 'The Punisher'. How he's going to punish you is another matter...
enter image description hereNext up: My first used needle.
enter image description hereTo the bedroom! And beyond!
enter image description hereA Hitler doll. Classy.
enter image description hereActually you should buy your child this. I approve.
enter image description hereIf it's just a bad translation you've still got to wonder; why is it winking at me?
enter image description hereWas this ever intended for kids. I actually hope it was.
enter image description hereFun for all the family!
enter image description hereHow are they defining 'safe' here?
enter image description here'The Tramp' should not be the name of a villain. It's very politically incorrect so there.
enter image description hereThey aren't toy but stilettos should not be found on a baby. Not even in Essex.
enter image description hereI was going to make a squirting joke here but I shan't.
enter image description hereA Russian Roullette gun! Next time we're in the playground we can re-enact The Deer Hunter!
enter image description hereIt's acts like a magic 8-ball but it's also a robot wielding a crucifix. I can't think of a single reason why someone hadn't thought of this sooner.
enter image description hereDnt giv ur kidz thees
enter image description here If you want your kids to learn the value of good oral health then give them this. Actually, don't.
enter image description hereHa. It looks like a penis.
enter image description hereGotta crap 'em all.
enter image description hereFor the baby who has everything...
enter image description hereYou can. But you shouldn't.
enter image description hereAt least is not a REALPEDO
enter image description hereNo! Really?
enter image description hereDo kids want to pretend breastfeed a pretend baby? If yes I'm not having any.
enter image description herePutting the fun into 'it's fun to impale things'.
enter image description herePolitically incorrect Barbie!

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