Very thick thief wears stolen coat to court
Jacket thief Stephen Kirkbride from Kendal - either the most confident criminal of all time, or the stupidest. You decide...
I’ve never been arrested (honest guv') – I’m a clean living, law abiding, stand-up guy you’d be lucky to know. But if I was tempted to cross the thin blue line and had to appear in court, I’m pretty sure I’d turn up dressed as smart as possible – at a push I might even raid the local charity shops for a new suit.
Not 46-year-old Stephen Kirkbride from Kendal. Opting for more of a casual look, he turned up to court wearing a designer-label waterproof jacket. The same designer-label waterproof jacket that he was in court for stealing.
Wow. Even I – who decided to wear black jeans on the hottest day of the year – am not that stupid.
After staff from the sports shop from which it was stolen noticed that the defendant had turned up wearing the jacket, they pointed it out to an attending police officer and it was duly seized.
Thinking on his feet – like the genius he clearly is – Kirkbride told the court he had bought the coat from a charity shop, hence the tear marks on the arm. Prosecutor David Duke then pointed out that the tear marks were in fact caused by the security tags being cut off.
‘You’re making this up as you go along, aren’t you?’ added Duke. Yes Mr Duke, we think he is.
Kirkbride was found guilty. Who saw that coming?