Man shoots fireworks out of his bum - bad idea
The moral of the story is: Don't shoot fireworks out of your bum. Obviously.
So you're at a party and it's a bit dull. We've all been there. The dancefloor is empty, everyone is sober as a judge and everyone you know there is having some one-on-one conversation with someone you definitely don't want to talk to. How do you liven things up a bit?
Well some people will spark up a conversation with a stranger, hit the bottle a little too hard or (god forbid) go home early (some also set their head on fire, on CCTV). Not the Australians though. In what appears to have been a party trick gone wrong an Australian man tried to save what must have been a VERY bad party by shooting a lit firework from between his buttocks. Whatever floats your boat I guess...
Predictably this ended terribly with the unidentified man taking himself to the hospital to be treated for injuries to "his posterior and genital area." Essentially, the man chargrilled his arse cheeks and testicles, shedding horrible new light on the phrase 'smuggling plums'. He'll never wear tight shorts again, that's for sure.
Afterwards Senior Sergeant Garry Smith helpfully stated that "apparently [the firecrackers] are not designed for that particular placement." Thanks Garry. Thanks a lot.