Ten reasons to DUMP them before uni
We've bought you '12 reasons you don't have to break up for uni '. Now we bring you ten reasons to take the other road and break up for university.
The first thing I'm going to say is that, as I'm sure you're aware, for many, perhaps for every decision in life there are reasons for and reasons against.
Listed here are the reasons for breaking up. For reasons to stay together and tips on how to do it check out 12 reasons why you don't have to break up for uni.
People are different, relationship are different and a decision over whether to stay in a relationship or not is always hard - there are simply no easy answers. This particular article is the one with ten reasons to go your own way...
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10 . The travel costs
You and your loved one are gonna be scooting back, forth, up, down, around and across the country to see each other, and quite frankly with the cost of travel in these economically stricken times, it's just not financially viable.
Train travel in the UK is the most expensive in Europe - 30% higher than in France, the Netherlands, Sweden and Switzerland, yet simultaneously far, far more sh*t. Fares are rising even further for 2012 - Labour described prices as eye watering and even transport Secretary Philip Hammond described trains as 'a rich man's toy'.
There's driving, but who can afford a car? Petrol prices are rising and roads are becoming more congested.
There's always the coach and studentbeans.com do a very nice line in bus and train offers, and we've got a great article on Cutting the cost of train travel, but let's face it; just the travel costs in staying together could financially cripple you and you can't survive on kisses alone.
9 . The statistics
The unsubstantiated figure being bandied around online of a teenage couple ending up getting married and staying married is just under 2%. Other reports suggest that teenage marriages are twice as likely to end in divorce as other age groups.
Put simply, statistically there's really not much of a chance that you're going to end up together forever with you're loved one anyway. Why delay the highly probable? Especially when there's university life to begin..
8 . The friendship ‘integration’ thing
When you've got a group of people that all know each other, and then someone comes along (your visiting loved one) who only knows you, then you're basically responsible for their well being as an 'outsider' and also for negotiating their integration to the group.
This situation can be complex and fraught with dangers. Your loved one utterly despises 'Crazy Mike', who you thought was a totally hilarious dude and who you'd already invited along snowboarding.
The issues of course exist for the guest too; you being the outside numpty when you visit them, 'crazy Jane' who you can't stand, and that one who obviously has the hots for your loved one and does their best to cold shoulder you at every opportunity. So that's two sets of trouble, home and away. Hmmm.
7 . The missing out
If you've got a loved one elsewhere in the country, it means you are going to be away from your uni for a lot of weekends. Like the one when Manic Charlotte's dress fell down at the wine society ball, or when your annexe created that 12 man sled which they slid down the steepest hill on campus and continued to shuffle right through the union bar. Oh legendary times!! Shame about being in a different city.
6 . The pining
Agh!! Trying to concentrate on your work, or stumbling home tipsy, or when it's a cold afternoon and you want to curl up and watch a video....Piiiiiiine!!! Piiining for your baby!!! Oh babeeeeeeeeeee!!!
5 . The jealousy
Potentially explosive. Always ugly. And extremely hard to avoid. You are both necessarily interacting with lots of other smart, interesting, attractive people in your respective parts of the country.
There's the completely groundless jealousy, and there's the jealousy that hits on an element of truth; 'Yes they are attractive and sweet, and intelligent and yes, if we weren't together, I admit, of course they'd turn my head, but...' Too late! Nobody's done anything wrong but everyone's feeling wretched. Jealousy! Bah!
4 . The outgrowing
Although you still love bowling, your uni town has got lots of other stuff going on, like highly conceptual art galleries with giant rooms solely filled with 1/4 of a dog pooh, or gigs where the band stand motionless and the crowd jerk their limbs arhythmically.
Your loved one just wants to go bowling, and although you still love bowling...
3 . The 'yours is better than mine' thing
Another issues that can create serious problems is the possibility that one party in the relationship may have a noticeably superior uni-life set up than the other, e.g.
- A better, more enjoyable, or more well suited course
- A better friendship group
- A more fun halls/living environment
- A better town
- A more active Student Union that books better events and bands (etc.)
This can create much un-needed envy in the person living in the inferior situation, when it would be better concentrating on the positives and improving, or, at least making the most of things.
For the person in the superior situation the natural instinct to talk excitably about all the cool stuff that's going on is interrupted by not wanting to sound as if you're gloating, or simply wanting politely to not bring attention to the discrepancy in the quality of uni/life set ups. But then all you can think to talk about right now is the cool stuff... so, uncomfortable silences aplenty.
2 . The holidays pressure
Because you've spent long periods of time apart from each other during term times, the holiday periods can come to be seen as 'time to make up for it' - making the most of the opportunity to be together, and thus, being together a lot.
But then there's other demands on holiday time that this can eat into - your home friends, very cheap traveling, internships, working, band practice...
Uni holidays are long - but is there really time for specialist one on one long distance relationship lock down remedies?
1 . The flirting/pulling/hotties
University is quite simply a glorious fun fair for flirting, checking out, pulling, gossiping, dating, dancing, and romancing.
Never before in your life, and probably never afterwards, will you be connected to so many people intellectually, socially and in terms of physical proximity over such a sustained period. Plus a lot of these situations will involve alcohol.
Plus a lot of these people are damned hot.
And there's a lot of time left in life to be in a relationship.
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