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23 things you're bound to hear this Christmas

Rebecca gives us an insight into Christmas in the Houston household...

It doesn't get better than when friends, family, in-laws and other tag-alongs all come together for Christmas.

Gifts are exchanged, stomachs are overloaded and a tipsy grandparent will probably put their foot in one thing or another. After a few glasses of sherry, the festivities can get quite entertaining.

Here are a few crackers that might spring up this Christmas!

1. 'Errrm, the turkey doesn't quite fit in the oven...'

2. 'Who’s taken all green triangles from the Quality Streets?!?'

3. 'Oh that's lovely, why did you buy me the bigger size?'

4. 'Looks like mum's on the cooking wine already.'

5. 'No batteries included? Are you kidding?'

6. 'Everyone's cheating, I refuse to play anymore.'

7. 'Did you keep the receipt?'

8. 'Bagsie being banker!'

9. 'Thanks nan, I really wanted some floral hankies.'

10. 'Wow, Eastenders has really gone downhill.'

11. 'Is Tesco open?'

12. 'Oh no, we missed the Queen.'

13. '£10 on crackers and all we get is bloody nail clippers!'

14. 'You've eaten your whole selection box?!'

15. 'Mummy did my letter to Santa get lost this year?'

16. 'Right we’re going for a walk.'

17. 'Back in my day all I got was an orange and a lump of coal.'

18. 'That’s not what Delia says!'

19. 'No chocolate until you’ve suffered at least four brussel sprouts'

20. 'Why is there no 25 on my advent calendar?!'

21. 'The dog’s eating a bauble.'

22. 'Dad you look ridiculous.'

23. 'Mum, please stop drinking.'

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