We all have those moments where we come in, ravenous and wringing wet from the rain, open our gapingly empty fridge and slump to the floor in despair. NO MORE!

Student houses can look a bit like a war zone so it’s only natural that the stuff in our cupboards will outlast a bomb attack. These are the survival foods you should stockpile for those emergency moments when you run out of supplies.

As you brush off the dust and whack them in the microwave your stomach can thank those plucky inventors who dreamt that food could be immortal!

1.Tinned Tuna

A tuna bake seems to be the trademark fall-back dinner for all hungry boys. When its packed full of omega and so darn tasty with mayo in a sarnie, a couple of tins of this on your shelf is a sure-fire winner when you’re not feeling like cooking up a storm.

2.Rice

Even if it develops a frighteningly thick layer of dust on the bag or box, the rice inside is just as good as the day you bought it. This goes white, wild, arborio, jasmine and basmati (the best).

You healthy freaks who ‘prefer’ brown don't have the same good fortune; its higher oil content makes it turn faster. Mwoahahaaaaaaaa!

3.Pickled Onions

They can look like you’ve got a jar of eyeballs in your cupboard and it’s not advisory to go on a date after you’ve had them in a sandwich but a pickle is a pretty good cupboard staple.

Dosed in all that vinegar they stay firm and crunchy if you keep ‘em in the fridge.

4.Sultanas

They’re like raisons’ plumper and juicier cousin: sultanas are a great snack food to have on your shelves and, as long as you seal them in a good Tupperware box after opening, could still be collecting dust in your cupboard at the end of the year.

Raisons, cranberries, figs, prunes, dates…there’s a LOAD of stuff that tastes good when they’re shrivelled and dry!

5.Hard liquor

Oh yes! From the way students guzzle it you’d have thought its best-before date was less than a night. Your liquor cabinet could itself be an inheritable item, passed down from generation to generation.

However, we doubt your children will appreciate being left Tesco Value vodka in your will! Still, if you find a bottle of something good, keep it in your room and just bring it out on celebrations, anniversaries and blue moons - it'll last.

6.Sugar, sugar

The challenge with sugar is not keeping it fresh, but keeping it from turning rock hard. Sugar never spoils because it doesn't support bacterial growth. Just make sure to store it in an airtight container.

7.Tinned pineapple

Tinned fruit is a dream. So tasty, oozing with juices, WAAAY better than the real deal AND you can just eat it with a fork. AND it lasts for yonks and yonks.

8.Christmas cake

OK, this one’s cheeky, but it’s in some shops already so I think it gets under the radar. There’s a reason why wedding cake, like xmas cake, is traditionally a basic fruit cake: it keeps. Which is good when you’re supposed to keep a tier to eat on your first anniversary!

Packed full of currants and booze it, like a fine wine, gets better with age and is good long past January exams. We somehow doubt it will make it that far!

9. Ooooh… honey, honey

Numero uno or should I say:αριθμός ένας (Ancient Greek for no.1)... because according to them the elixir of life (drink to give you immortality) was ambrosia or a golden substance like nectar or honey.

So it’s no wonder this stuff lasts forever! It may change colour and texture (becoming crystalized) but a bit of warmth and it will stay safe and delicious to eat - and the internet tells you how to de-crystallize it if God forbid that should ever happen to you. Time to release your inner honey monster!

An uninformed observer may think they’ve walked into a world war bunker once they’ve seen your larder, but that’s the kind of military preparation students need. Bring on the big guns!

Tags: Student food , University advice , Student Food Festival