Which Fresh Meat character are you?
You probably know a lot of people like them but are you one of them?
The success of Fresh Meat has rested upon it's readily identifiable characters. Whether they are hugely exaggerated or not we all see a little bit of our friends, enemies and peers in every single one of them.
With the second series launching last week (you can catch up on 4OD) channel 4 have built an online version of the Fresh Meat house, so you can get even further under the character's skin by exploring their bedrooms, the living room...Click here to have a nose around.
But what about you? Which bit of them do you see in yourself? Well read on to find out:
Have you visited the world's first ever online Freshers' Fair yet (all years)? It has loads of freebies and discounts and it’s free to get in.
Oh you. You're harmless of course, but no one is ever that sure you are. They all think that one day you might just get pushed over the edge and then go berserk with a pen. It's always a possibility but until then you're content to just be yourself and not care what anyone else thinks.
You may have recently got a job at an abattoir to fund your craving for strange offcuts of meat. Alternatively you may have just got any strange job that allows you to indulge some of your more niche interests. But what do you care? You live a quiet life but you enjoy a nice pint as much as anyone, not that you'll look like you're having fun with it though. You will be having fun of course, but your idea of fun doesn't really register with a lot of people. One day (possibly when the writers start to run short of ideas) you'll find a nice lady just like you and will live strangely ever after.
Vod is a bit of a hard one to pigeonhole. If you're anything like her you're probably really hard to describe. Which is a bit of a pain since that's what I'm supposed to be doing here. Your dress sense will be a bit punk/retro/metal/gothy/hipster and your background will be kind of chequered and mysterious and at the same time not chequered and a bit mysterious or not mysterious and chequered. A bit. Or something.
You're kind of cool but in a really really detached way. You might not have any great friends and you may be completely emotionally unavailable and you may take a few too many drugs but at least you're cool. In a really socially isolated way of course, but cool. If that's not what the modern student wants I don't know what is (ed - friends? a bright future?).
Whilst some people like to reinvent themselves you just want to change entirely. You're middle class, very middle class (very, very middle class). Not that you're going to let anyone know that. Wise beyond your years you are. Higher class than upper class you are. You're whoever you want yourself to be and it'll only take having a torrid affair with a middle aged man to prove it.
You may have a bit of contempt for poor, naïve little girls like Josie but secretly you only have a go because they are pretty much you - just without the expensive haircut and can-(probably)-do attitude.
You probably went to an all girls school, you're really naïve and you probably weren't all that ready to leave home just quite yet. Turns out small town life is a bit different to university but you're determined. You don't let anything get in the way of your work, but still, so much gets in the way. Make mistakes? All the time. Admit to a mistake? Never. But of course you always meant to do what you did so mistakes are simply unpleasant obstacles as opposed to mistakes. Despite the definition of the word. Just ignore the definition.
It's going to be a hard time for you but that's OK. That's what it's all about. You'll fall slightly in love with a bit of an idiot, others will be awkwardly shagged, mistakes will be made and lessons will be learned. These are the formative years of your life and you've got a lot of forming to do.
You're a bit of twit (although do bear in mind I'm using 'twit' in the censorial sense there - occasionally you deserve to be called something quite a bit harsher). You're a nice guy deep down but you're also a bit of a twit. Whereas the Oregon's of this world go in for complete reinvention you don't so much change as say stupid clichéd rubbish for no real reason in particular. Maybe you're trying to come off as some sort of prematurely wise student prodigy, a Socrates of the student union, coming out with cod-philosophy whilst you study geology for no perceivable reason other than it slightly took your fancy. Or you just unwittingly stumbled into it whilst pursuing a now long gone girl. Probably the latter.
You probably fancy a nice, kind girl, kind of like a Josie but that won't stop you screwing that up for a year or two whilst you go from one ill-fated relationship to the next with girls at varying ends of the social spectrum. Eventually you hope you'll stop bouncing around and end up in the middle with the girl you've been after all of this time. But then again you may eventually end up losing her and then you'll realise how much of a twit you've been. Ah well, at least you're rocking a soul patch under your bottom lip now. Chicks dig soul-patches.
Well if you're a JP you probably know you are and love it. Private school? A must. A deep and intimate understanding of the fagging system? Certainly. A confused and tactless relationship with the concept of 'class'? Of course, it's still the 50's at Stowe don't you know.
You go out on the 'lash' constantly. You're 'mining pussy' 24/7. How you find time to smoke 10 kilograms of 'ganga' a week is beyond me. Well done. Well I suppose at public school you get what you pay for and if you come out a bit like JP you apparently pay for a supreme overestimate of how gullible people are. But you're really lovely really, you just want someone to hug you. Won't someone just give JP a hug?
Fresh Meat is on Tuesday's at 10pm (you can catch up on 4OD).
To visit the Fresh Meat house click here.
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