50 reasons why you shouldn't go to the library
As if you needed another reason not to go. Well, here's fifty!
1) It’s too cold to leave your room.
2) It’s too warm to waste it stuck inside.
3) It’s raining.
4) It’s snowing. And you've not brought your skis.
5) Does the library have pillows and blankets?
6) With websites like jStor, there’s no need to leave your room to access journals.
7) Food and drink are expensive there.
8) It’s too quiet to concentrate.
9) It’s too loud to concentrate.
10) You can turn your music up as loud as you want in your room (until your housemates get pissed off).
11) Your friend has a printer.
12) The library lacks a never-ending supply of energy drinks to see you through the night.
13) Freshers? 40%. Second/third years? 2:1.
14) You’re a hipster – the library is just so mainstream.
15) Nobody coughs like an asthmatic elephant would in your room.
16) Carrying books and your laptop would (definitely) seriously damage your back.
17) You have no pens.
18) You don’t have any paper clips.
19) You haven’t emptied out your hole-puncher.
21) The walk would waste 15 minutes of precious study-time.
22) You don’t want to be embroiled in library seat ‘reservations politics’.
23) You’re planning an elaborate scheme to get even at your ex. (refer to ’12 ridiculous ways of dealing with a break up’)
24) You’ll see that guy/girl you had that thing with that one time. And most likely you'll see that other guy you had that thing with that one time.
25) Fraping isn’t nearly as socially acceptable in the library.
26) There are millions of germs that live on library books. You’re saving your immune system after destroying it the night before.
27) You have to go shopping for food.
28) You have to go shopping for a fancy dress costume for tonight.
29) You have to go shopping for a birthday card for your distant cousin you never knew you had.
30) It’s open all night, why go when it’s busiest?
31) You work better in the evening anyway.
32) The pub is much more sociable.
33) Sleep will recharge your batteries, making you more productive.
34) The library smells.
35) There are literally millions of hazards you have to circumnavigate before getting there.
36) You’ll catch procrastinitis; better to just not work.
37) You can work in bed.
38) Monumental hangover.
39) If you leave your room, a cuddly panda will die. Or so Facebook says.
40) iPlayer won’t watch itself – you’re not contributing to the license payer for nothing!
41) Your chair is much more comfy in your bedroom.
42) It’ll lower your blood pressure by not getting irrationally angry at the two girls giggling in the corner, the guy talking unnecessarily loudly on his phone, or the guy drumming on the table. We’re pretty sure this is how The Shining started, too.
43) You may miss your acceptance letter into Hogwarts.
44) Everything’s digital now, anyway.
46) You’ll look creepier Facebook stalking in a public place.
47) Finding someone else to revise with is a lot more fun.
48) You’re a bibliophobe.
49) Your Zen is interrupted by the arrangement of the desks in the library.
50) It's Christmas in just under a month. You deserve a holiday.