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Nasty, funny, FREE Anti-Valentine's Day cards

From heartbreak, claustrophobic relationships, stalking and obsession - we've got a free Anti-Valentines card for it all

For those who want to give Love a good punch in the face (and let's face it Love deserves that AND the rest, some of the time..). Or for when the sickly sweetness of Valentine's gets a just a little too much, we've created these Anti-Valentine's Day cards with the help of one of our favourite graphic designers and illustrators Stewart Armstrong (you can check out his Tumblr here).

These cards of course provide the perfect companion to our Anti Valentine's gift list:

Just click on the links to open a PDF template - and you can print out all the cards for free. It's our little gift. Because we love you. Lots. And we'll always be there. Loving. Watching...

Card 1: "Breathe"

To kick us off we've got the perfect card to send if you feel like you're in a 24/7 bear hug and drawing breath has become problematic.

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Download "Breathe" black and white
Download "Breathe" orange

Card 2: "Watching"

Inspired by the famous and creepy Police song sung by the famous and creepy Sting. Let them know you've got your eyes on 'em.

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Download "Watching" green
Download "Watching" black and white
Download "Watching" orange

Card 3: "Hair"

What's nice about this card is that you can customize it with something that's really, them. It also lets the recipient know that someone's looking after their old hair.

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Download "Hair"

Card 4: "Not me"

People often take too much of the blame on themselves when relationships go wrong. In actual fact, most of the time it's the other person's fault.

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Download "Not me" black and white
Donwload "Not me" colour

Card 5: "Do"

What's great about this card, is that it doesn't build any potentially damaging expectations.

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Download "Do" green
Download "Do" black and white
Download "Do" orange

Card 6: "Thinking"

Thinking of a loved one often is understandable - sweet even. But 24 hours a day, seven days a week? Things might be getting a bit card 7...

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Download "Thinking" black and white
Download "Thinking" Colour

Card 7: "Bunny"

With a jocular reference to Fatal Attraction this card light-heartedly but firmly shows that you mean business.

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Download "Bunny"

Card 8: "Dying"

This card is multi-functional. It can be used by someone who's been dumped, by those suffering from unrequited love, or those stuck in a relationships that seems OK on the surface, but...

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Download "Dying" black and white
Download "Dying" orange

Card 9: "Fckit"

Pure. Straight to the point. And sometimes the best way to save your sanity.

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Download "Fckit" black and white
Download "Fckit" colour heart, white background
Download "Fckit" green background

....and here's what can happen

People started printing the Anti-Valentine's cards off and sending them out here at studentbeans.com - as you can see from these pics things got out of hand very quickly...

enter image description hereWhoa! That's not the face of a guy who's in control calmly writing a card to his Valentine...

enter image description hereOh dear, she's been given card 2 "Watching" - and OMG!!! There's somebody behind the plant!!
enter image description hereShe's sorting out something to give with the card - what you can't see is the camping stove in front of her and the bunny in a box under the table.
enter image description hereAh! Poor guy! But it definitely was him - that's a defeated, guilty pose if ever there was one.
enter image description hereThis poor boy has literally lost his head after being given a "Fckit" card.

We've got some more Anti-Valentine's stuff and some other less cynical, regular Valentine articles too, take a look:

Tags: Free stuff , Cheap fun - we are the kings

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