25 glorious ways to waste your student loan
Who says you need textbooks - here are 25 MUCH more interesting ways to spend you student loan.
Whether you're about to start your first year or, or are returning to the land of late nights and later mornings, chances are you're first student loan payment has just arrived in your bank account.
For many of you this will be the most money that you've EVER had (we're ignoring the fact that you have to pay it back for now), so what are you supposed to do with it?!
You could save it for a rainy day. You could buy food. You could even go crazy and spend it on textbooks.
All that sounds a little too sensible, however, so here are 25 useless things that no one will ever need, but that everyone will always want!
Have you visited the world's first ever online Freshers' Fair yet (all years)? It has loads of freebies and discounts and it’s free to get in.
1. Arm pillow
What: The answer to all your mid-lecture napping woes.
How much: £10
2. Backpack drinks dispenser
What: A way of ensuring you're always the most popular person at the party.
How much: £39
3. Walk-in beer cooler
What: You new favourite room in the house.
How much: £5000
4. Bacon bandages
What: Lady Gaga's preferred brand of plaster.
How much: £3
5. Beer pouch hoodie
What: What every other hoodie wants to look like.
How much: £20
6. Inflatable beer pong
What: Perfect for all those students who have a pool in their basement.
How much: £45
7. Question block lamp
What: The thing you've been waiting for your whole life - though we've been hitting it for days and haven't seen a single mushroom! Must be broken...
How much: £55
8. Pint/shot glass
What: A pint glass, and a shot glass - in one?! Consider our minds well and truly blown.
How much: £17
9. Total body pillow
What: Who needs a relationship when you've got a giant pillow...
How much: £65
10. Wine rack
What: We're not sure what we like best - the groundbreaking concept or the genius pun.
How much: £20
11. Bottle opener remote control
What: The most important invention since... well, the Wine Rack, probably.
How much: £12
12. Endless edges brownie pan
What: Everyone knows the edges of a brownie are the best bit - splash out on one of these and you'll never have to eat the crappy middle bit again!
How much: £25
13. Bottle opener chandelier
What: The best possible use for a beer bottle - other than filling it with beer, obvs.
How much: £450
14. Flying F**k
What: The greatest flying pun we ever did see.
How much: £22
15. iPhone case bottle opener
What: Proof that anything is better if it can open your beer.
How much: £8
16. iPhone projector
What: Project your iPhone onto the nearest wall - Facebook stalking has never looked better.
How much: £140
17. Mario wall stickers
What: Ever wondered why you weren't popular with the ladies? Get some of these on your walls and your 20 year dry spell will end at once...
How much: £50
18. Bottle opening sandals
What: See number 15...
How much: £20
19. Sex Panther
What: 60 per cent of the time it works everytime - it's made from real panther, so you know it's good.
How much: £25
20. Social shower curtain
What: Exactly the kind of useless piece of crap that your student loan was destined to be spent on.
How much: £15
21. Gigantic water slide
What: OK. It may cost more than your whole year's maintenance loan, but LOOK HOW COOL...
How much: £6000
22. Toilet bowl coffee mug
What: A mug. That looks like a toilet. What's not to love?
How much: £6
23. Full size T-rex sculpture
What: The greatest thing that ever existed, though even with Cameron's fees increase you'd struggle to afford this one with your loan...
How much: £25,000
24. Hands free umbrella
What: When people start staring at you we promise they're just jealous - you look very cool.
How much: £40
25. Unicorn meat
What: We're not stupid - we know unicorns are now extinct - which begs the question... what is in this tin?!
How much: £7
Get discounts and freebies at The National Online Freshers' Fair - all years (Domino's, Urban Outfitters, Warehouse, Greggs...and masses more!)