Right first things first, let's address the main issue: what the ruddy hell is the title 'Doo-wops and hooligans' all about? Well according to Bruno, a 'doo-wop' is 'what you call your girl' (errrm ok), so it's 'doo-wops for the girls, and hooligans for the guys'. Glad we've cleared that up.

Actually, when you listen to the album, the whole doo-wops and hooligans malarkey becomes a bit a clearer. There's definitely a lot of stuff aimed squarely at the laydeez, most obviously lead single Just The Way You Are, the song that had millions of women up and down the country licking their TV screens when Matt Cardle performed it on the X Factor. 'If perfect's what your searchin' for then just stay the same' croons Mars in his most sincere I-love-you-even-without-your-make-up-and-slimming-pants voice. Swoon.

Opening song Grenade goes much along the same vein of romantic idealism, albeit this time with a more violent edge. 'I'd catch a grenade for ya/Throw my hand on a blade for ya/I'd jump in front of a train for ya' belts out Mars over a sea of tribal drums, prompting us to wonder a) how often such things are actually required of a loved one, b) what kind of scary-ass relationships poor Bruno has been through in the past.

Another song quite clearly aimed at the doo-wops is Our First Time. It's a smooth, reggae-tinged ballad all about losing your big V in the most perfect way possible; no fumbling, Inbetweeners-style disasters here. However, Mars shifts to more of a ladykiller stance in his next offering Runaway Baby, a slightly frantic, 60s-sounding track which is largely forgettable apart from the moment when Bruno makes the grave error of comparing his penis to a carrot.

For all you hooligans out there, The Lazy Song is a celebration of pure, unadulterated idleness punctuated only by the occasional wank: 'throw my hand in my pants/No one's gonna tell me I can't'. All very manly of course, until Mars mentions 'chilling in [his] Snuggie' and shatters the whole illusion. Oops.

Marry You doesn't show much improvement lyrically but at least the tune is better - a toe-tapping melody with wedding bells chiming away in the background. Next comes Talking To The Moon, a slow, piano-driven lament about, well, 'Talking to the mooooooooon'. Unlike Our First Time it shows that Mars can do a good, old-fashioned ballad when he wants.

Liquor Store Blues is awash with Caribbean rhythms and includes a guest spot from Damian Marley. It's about the closest thing to reggae that today's 10-year-olds would be willing to have in their record collection. In contrast, sickly sweet Count On Me is a completely throwaway piece of pop, featuring lyrics that would have us vomming in the nearest bucket should anyone dare sing them to us.

Luckily, the album ends on a high point with The Other Side, featuring Cee-Lo Green and B.o.B. Here Mars demonstrates the song-writing talent previously exhibited on hits such as Travie McCoy's Billionaire and Cee-Lo's Fuck You, creating an intense, exciting pop song that's simultaneously original and radio-friendly. We're not sure if it's a hooligan or a doo-wop, but we like it.