50 things Londoners get irrationally angry about

Cool your jets guys! It's just a cyclist...

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London. Where the streets are paved with gold and every man can go forth and make his fortune!

We've already given you the 101 reasons you need to live in London once, however, we didn't mention that the people can be a bit, well, tetchy about stuff. Yes, we all get a bit annoyed sometimes but it seems these city folk take it to the next level....

So if you're planning on taking our advice (and why wouldn't you?!) maybe stay away from these sensitive topics.

1. People not standing on the right side of the escalator

2. 'Would you like to buy a Big Issue?'

3. Tourists

4. Having to queue for anything for more than 2 minutes. Don't you know I'm very busy and important?

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5. Pigeons

6. People with wheelie suitcases

7. Street artists in Covent Garden and the HUGE crowds they gather

8. People suddenly stopping in the middle of the street

9. Delays of ANY KIND. Even if it's just by 1 minute

10. Cyclists

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11. People who call themselves 'Londoners' but who REALLY AREN'T. If it's past Zone 5, it's NOT London.

12. Charity canvassers

13. Ditto people handing out leaflets

14. When someone doesn't have their Oyster card at the ready the SECOND they get to the barrier

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15. People. Who. Walk. Really. Slow.

16. When films or TV get parts of London wrong. Hyde Park is NOT a 5 minute walk from the Gherkin YOU STUPID SHOW!

17. When said film or TV show is being filmed and a whole road gets closed down. Inconvenient film crew.

18. Walking Tours

19. Ditto School Groups

20. People who DONT MOVE DOWN INSIDE OF THE CARRIAGE.

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21. Bendy-Buses

22. People who try to strike up conversation or make eye-contact for too long. Oh the nerve of them!

23. The Congestion Charge

24. Oxford Street during the January sales

25. Oxford Street at Christmas

26. Actually, just Oxford Street in general

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27. Anyone who doesn't know the tube map off by heart

28. People who talk loudly on their phone on the train or bus

29. Buskers

30. Hipsters who look like buskers

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31. The constant building work

32. When that 'cute, little place' you know in Soho is featured in TimeOut and now EVERYONE goes there. Ugh.

33. Announcements about suspicious packages on the Tube

34. Announcements about standing behind the yellow line on the Tube.

35. Announcements about minding the gap on the Tube. We get it already! We're not children! How dare you look out for our safety?!

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36. People who are STILL talking about the Olympics

37. Anyone who complains or comments of how expensive London is.

38. Strikes

39. When there are no free papers left for your commute home. WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU GOING TO DO FOR HALF AN HOUR?!

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40. Children on public transport

41. People who push themselves into an elevator and hold it up. They've wasted a whole 10 seconds on your life!

42. Any kind of parade or protest.

43. People who mispronounce place names. It's NOT 'Greenwitch!'

44. People who ask for directions

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45. Anyone who gets overexcited by seeing a celebrity

46. When your Oyster card doesn't scan through the first time

47. Realising your Oyster card isn't scanning because you have insufficient funds and having to top it up

48. Boris Johnson

49. Starbucks mis-spelling your name on your morning coffee. How did they not know your name started with a silent G?!

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50. Whenever anyone says anything bad about London, including any of the above.

But despite the irrationally angry Londoners rushing around with their bottom lips out, we still believe London is the greatest city on earth...

101 reasons you need to live in London once


 

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