21 things no one tells you about leaving uni

There are graduate jobs everywhere, right guys?...guys?

Shockedface

Alright so you've got the cape and the hat, you pranced around pretending to be Harry Potter and it was brilliant. You even have a rolled up piece of paper that you can smugly present to employers. Go you!

Those three or more years toiling away in the library and kissing inappropriate people in the SU have paid off, and now you've been told it's time to head off into the sunset and sort out your career.

That's all very well and good, but here's what they DON'T tell you about leaving university.

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Wednesday nights no longer involve fancy dress

In fact, no nights involve fancy dress. Put that banana costume down!

You'll find yourself saying: rent costs HOW much? I didn't pay this for my uni house....

But wait, there's loads of graduate jobs around, right? I'll easily be able to make rent

It's frowned upon to go into ASDA for 3 bottles of wine for a tenner and a cut price bottle of vodka and nothing else

People will think it's odd if you sleep in until 3:00pm

Your parents don't find it funny when you hide all their left shoes or put cling-film on the toilet seat

Instead of you calling Student Finance, they start sending you letters that roughly translate to 'You Owe Us £20,000'

Drinking in the middle of the day is no longer called 'fun' it is called 'Alcoholism'

Watching the whole series of a show in one sitting isn't dedicated, it's simply a waste of your time

You will STILL procrastinate everything and avoid difficult tasks at all costs

You can't skip work because you don't feel like it

And they won't put the work up online for you to look at later (or never)

You suddenly realise the majority of your uni friends live really REALLY far away...

But you do get to go on awesome road trips to see them

Your graduation photo will sit on the mantelpiece and haunt you for the rest of your life

Graduate websites will become your new BEST FRIENDS

You'll often find yourself looking at a graduate job spec and think 'I can do 3 out of 15 things on that list...I'M PERFECT FOR THAT JOB'

There's no such thing as a 'pound a pint' in the real world

Occasionally you will see groups of students and seethe with jealousy

But don't worry, everyone pretends to be a fully functioning adult but eventually you'll realise that no one has a clue what they're doing...


 

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